Photo: Wikicommons
So I ended up in Dumfries the other day, hanging out with my mate who is on tour. I was riding shotgun in the van with him driving, handing him Haribos and holding the wheel when his hands were otherwise occupied.
The tour provides him with a hotel room so we rocked up to check it out. While he was taking a slash, I flicked through the hotel’s in-house magazine, a fine piece of journalism. After duly noting that tonight was a Tom Jones tribute night, explaining the blue-rinse-filled hotel lobby, I began reading about the two restaurants the Cairndale Hotel had to offer.
You know when restaurants have a theme? Not like super-cheesy where the waiters wear hats and tell you their names in this forced cheery voice, but where the theme is tastefully reflected in the name and decor of the establishment?
This restaurant had a Sawney Bean theme. To explain, Sawney Bean was the head of a Scottish clan consisting of members of his family that lived in a cave in the 15th century and subsisted on theft, murder and cannibalism.
Because they lived in a cave, it’s presumed that the children and grandchildren were the product of incest. They were finally caught after killing 30 to 40 people and executed. The men had their genitalia, hands and feet cut off and were left to bleed to death. The women and children were made to watch the men die, and then burned to death.
I repeat, this restaurant had a Sawney Bean theme.
So the restaurant was closed, but I asked at the front if I could check it out. I wasn’t gonna leave town without seeing it. After staring at me blankly for long enough for me to think she’d fallen asleep with her eyes open standing up, the chick at the front desk took me downstairs and let me in.
The restaurant was decorated with pictures depicting the life and times of the Bean Clan. Diners could enjoy good food and fine wine underneath a painting of the Bean family feasting on body parts.
In the process of my exploration of this fine dining establishment, I woke up a member of the hotel staff who seemed to be sleeping underneath one of the tables. I apologized; he straightened his uniform and hurried out.
Is everyone in Dumfries drunk?
I’ve bean thinking of you!
2 01 2009Photo: Wikicommons
So I ended up in Dumfries the other day, hanging out with my mate who is on tour. I was riding shotgun in the van with him driving, handing him Haribos and holding the wheel when his hands were otherwise occupied.
The tour provides him with a hotel room so we rocked up to check it out. While he was taking a slash, I flicked through the hotel’s in-house magazine, a fine piece of journalism. After duly noting that tonight was a Tom Jones tribute night, explaining the blue-rinse-filled hotel lobby, I began reading about the two restaurants the Cairndale Hotel had to offer.
You know when restaurants have a theme? Not like super-cheesy where the waiters wear hats and tell you their names in this forced cheery voice, but where the theme is tastefully reflected in the name and decor of the establishment?
This restaurant had a Sawney Bean theme. To explain, Sawney Bean was the head of a Scottish clan consisting of members of his family that lived in a cave in the 15th century and subsisted on theft, murder and cannibalism.
Because they lived in a cave, it’s presumed that the children and grandchildren were the product of incest. They were finally caught after killing 30 to 40 people and executed. The men had their genitalia, hands and feet cut off and were left to bleed to death. The women and children were made to watch the men die, and then burned to death.
I repeat, this restaurant had a Sawney Bean theme.
So the restaurant was closed, but I asked at the front if I could check it out. I wasn’t gonna leave town without seeing it. After staring at me blankly for long enough for me to think she’d fallen asleep with her eyes open standing up, the chick at the front desk took me downstairs and let me in.
The restaurant was decorated with pictures depicting the life and times of the Bean Clan. Diners could enjoy good food and fine wine underneath a painting of the Bean family feasting on body parts.
In the process of my exploration of this fine dining establishment, I woke up a member of the hotel staff who seemed to be sleeping underneath one of the tables. I apologized; he straightened his uniform and hurried out.
Is everyone in Dumfries drunk?
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Tags: cairndale hotel, Catie Guitart, dumfries, The Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe III
Categories : Reviews and Comment